A Single Story Gave Me No Glory

For most of my life I was one of those people who firmly believed that being driven and future-oriented was the correct way to approach life. I was the little girl who always knew where I was going to be in the next 5 to 10 years. Or as much as any young person could ever plan their future. I was certain I was going to be a chemistry major, I wanted to follow my father's footsteps in pursuing a degree in chemistry where I would land a great job after college and live a happy life.

When I entered high school I new that I needed to follow the honors student track, taking the honors classes, graduating in the top 10% of my high school class, and participating in clubs and sports. By the time I was in my senior year I felt that I was driven and accomplished, poised and ready to enter college with my plan in place: get a degree in chemistry, join a sorority, graduate, get a great job, etc. So what I did not anticipate was change. I had set myself up to follow a single story, and unfortunately that did not go as a planned.

Now I am in my junior year of college and I have done none of those things. I am at a school I never thought I would end up. I am majoring in a field that I used to think was pointless, and I am not as highly involved as I would like to be. When I entered college and everything stopped going according to plan I was devastated. I was so unhappy that I switched schools once, switched majors five times, and did not join a club until this year. I became paralyzed at one point. I, who had always known what I wanted, had no idea what I was doing. I was very lost, and as an individual who thrives under structure, I found that I had nothing to cling to. I hated that feeling, nothing caught my attention and I was so, so sick of people telling me that I shouldn't rush choosing a major, that it would come to me eventually. Well, they were right, but I hated that they were right. For that past two years I just took classes, I was uncommitted and uninterested. I eventually pulled myself together, and regained stability, but it wasn't easy and I learned a lot of hard and painful lessons.

This year, I feel that I have regained my footing, and I have gained perspective on how important embracing change and being flexible is. I was following and limiting myself to a single story, and when that single story did not go as planned I was devastated. Now I know that a lot of a person's 20's is unpredictable, scratch that, a lot of LIFE in general is unpredictable, and for as much as a dislike deviating from my single story, it is necessary. I can't stop it and now I have grown enough to know I don't think I would want to. I am in no way one hundred percent okay with change, it still makes my stomach hurt, but I am aware that it is necessary, inevitable and for the most part healthy. So, now I live trying to acknowledge that living a single story is not realistic and I am okay with that. I am actually the happiest I have ever been, so I guess I should say, "bring on the change, I am ready!"

-Emma

                                                                                         

Feedback

A common feeling that comes to mind when I think about feedback is that awful screeching sound that a microphone emits when you step too close to the doohickey and the thingamabob. The next thing that comes to mind is another feeling of pain because feedback means I have room for improvement and I like to unrealistically believe I am perfect. I know that is not a smart way to live, thinking that there is no room for self-improvement, in fact, the Emotionally Intelligent Leadership model is largely based upon self improvement. Feedback is not my favorite thing, but I learned through the years about how I can work on being receptive of feedback, because feedback shines a light on areas that need improvement and also in areas where you excel.

So this is what is discovered about my relationship with feedback. I need to remind myself to be open to it, to acknowledge the value of it, and to invite it into my daily life. I found that I am more receptive to feedback if I invite it into my life as a friend, and not as a negative entity.  What I found to be interesting was that once I began to invite feedback into my life it became a very useful tool for personal and group development. I asked a coworker about feedback of my my leadership style and embraced the good news along with  the areas where he told me I could improve. I will be honest and say I did not want to believe I needed to improve but hearing from a peer that there are some things I can work on is motivational. So even though it may not be my greatest friend, feedback is my greatest mentor.